I think a very important piece of the process that gets left out is the LBS explaining in certain terms how the relationship is going to look after D. IE we will discuss the kids only. We will only use text to communicate. Etc.
I've debated this a LOT. I've said this before and he uses any excuse in the book to text or call. Our kids are grown (28, 24, 19) we have grandkids but he will use them to text i.e. sending pics of them, or asking for pics of them when I have them, bringing a chair for me to baseball games, only going to games he knows I am attending...
His friend suggested not saying anything, especially given the last time we were together along with showing up in public with the AP.
I know that if I attempted to set boundaries, he would just turn it around on me and play the victim. I think any explanation would go over his head. (he thinks he has done nothing wrong, and his image is everything so any threat to that "family guy" offends him.
His friend said I owe him nothing and even telling him the new rules would only give him access to me and that XH thrives on any attention from me.
I appreciate your opinions, advice and suggestions. Always have. Do you still think I should let him know? I think it's time my actions speak, since my words haven't lined up. (That's on me!)
Originally Posted by LH19
You’re doing great and I think it’s time to really drop the rope and move forward.
thank you. Means a lot coming from you. and amen to really, truly, dropping the rope. It was like I woke up after 2 days of thinking about it and i was just done. Relief.
ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19
8/17-BD IHS: 1/17-2/19 D FILED (ME): 7/19 D FINAL: 10/20 M23 T25 OW CONFIRMED: 01/21
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
