Here Comes The Sun

[97Hope]

My ex had an affair about 16 years into our marriage. I DB'd like mad and we reconciled, and I would have said our marriage was really good for several years. Our kids were teens/preteens at the time.

However once he started to approach 50 he went off the rails again and we divorced after 24 years. I think MLC was a major component (he always had a fear of death and dying and aging) but to be honest, I have since realized he's also a narcissist and was probably also unfaithful more than I knew in the relationship....

It's so crazy how similar our stories are. Mine did this too...we reconciled in 2007, remarried and then 2nd BD in 2017. He was 43 when it started again, most likely MLC, I started seeing changes in him in 2016 and he said I was crazy.

I have peace in my heart that I did everything possible to save my marriage, and that I was a good wife. His issues of being incapable of being satisfied even when he had a really great life are his issues, not mine. His behavior towards our adult children in the years after our divorce have confirmed to me his narcissism. And as much as I felt it was important to keep our marriage together while the kids were still home, they tell me now they were always waiting for the other shoe to drop after his affair.

YES!! Their issues not yours! (or mine). My adult kids are all seeing it for themselves and slowly began talking about all the stuff they saw while XH and I were together.

......she's got the older, balder, creepier version of the guy I was married to.

Same.

Honestly, once I truly let go, I soon found it was so NICE not walking on eggshells around him all the time and having to be responsible for his happiness.

I have said this too. I realized when I went to a party for the first time without him, I was so RELIEVED not to have to wonder which girl he would be inappropriate with. Gross.