I think it's time

[AndrewP]

If I would do anything differently - I would have watched closer for signs of similarities to my ex.

Absolutely. We are attracted to the familiar. Which is why I tend to have a thing for strong women who are self confident more than the clingy fainting sort. Not necessarily a bad thing, but when combined with selfishness then yes it is as I found out myself.

I find myself much more willing to accept relationships for what they are, instead of trying to make them fit into some mold.

Again - certainly one of the mistakes I've made. One of the things that also frustrated me was the people I dated expecting me to act like their ex and trying to turn me into a more acceptable version of that person.

I don't ever want to be hurt this badly again, so taking a big risk to make something work is anathema to me now. I haven't got time.

That's more or less where I am. And the fact that third parties like kids can also be hurt was a painful lesson.

It's also challenging finding women seeking something lifelong, who aren't in need of rescue and aren't seeking more little ones. I think it's like kml says. Not many people beyond a certain age who have their life figured out are willing to commit to health OR SICKNESS again. Anyway, I mean to say it's a common problem for men and women--you're not alone. (:

You might be looking at the wrong age bracket - women my age are definitely not seeking more little ones and not too many of my friends (or me for that matter) is in need of rescue

I was able to find the ones wanting rescue fairly easily At least they were post-menopausal so no baby desires.