First of all - your ex didn't leave because of you. He likely left because of HIS issues, fear of aging, and an Asian fetish girlfriend shores up his narcissist fragile image. My ex was the same.
That being said - you will find a lot of love avoidant types at this age. (I might even be becoming one myself!) But there are also guys out there looking for a woman like you. You just have to look harder, since it's not as easy to meet single people as when we were single in our twenties. I've met most of my dates through online dating (except one guy who picked me up in the discount store - he was lovely but Love Avoidant and probably the least good match on an intellectual level. )
I divorced in my early 50's and am now 65 - looking back at my dating history, I had some fun dates, spent way too long with one guy who turned out to be seriously bipolar and a liar, and am currently with a guy who treats me great but has personality traits that would probably have led to the end of the relationship - except he got stage 4 lung cancer diagnosed 3 months into dating so I have made a commitment to be there for him. (Although I was expecting 6 months, not 3 years and counting!).
If I would do anything differently - I would have watched closer for signs of similarities to my ex. (Ex was mildly bipolar I think, so crazy ex-boyfriend felt familiar). I would have wasted less time with people who I knew weren't a fit (like Mr Big Lots, the discount store guy). I never wanted to remarry anyway, but I didn't think it would be quite so hard to find a compatible long term companion. Now, after living with current BF for 3 years, I'm not sure I want even that! (Don't get me wrong, he treats me like a queen, but he has obsessive compulsive personality disorder). At this point, an occasional weekend booty call with one of those Love Avoidant guys seems like it would be just enough. I find myself much more willing to accept relationships for what they are, instead of trying to make them fit into some mold. And almost every one is still a good friend to me.
Glad you're doing ok and hope you find a nice kitty cat.
