Picking Up the Pieces After WAW Goes Again #3

[smilie]

Makes sense? Her wanting to leave is likely to precede her finding an exit affair.

It sort of makes sense logically, but if she was having issues and wasn't happy, then she had no business looking for houses and giving me the impression that we had a future. She should have communicated that she wasn't happy. I know that people don't, but if this was the case then she should have held the conversation. After she withdrew the money, we were actively building a future (seemingly) and doing loads of other things. This is what doesn't make sense to me and never will.

Smilie, of course, reading the details of her exit affair is going to be difficult and may have a negative effect on your emotional state. Given you are already in a hard place, may I ask why you're doing this to yourself? Is there some action or decision your lawyer requires from you that demands you read these?

Actually that's a really good point. I didn't see that as an option. I shall inform my lawyer of this tomorrow.

Otherwise, be kind to yourself. Let your lawyer read it while you invest this time and energy better into GAL, preparing to start your own business, learning new skills for that business, etc.

Is your new business ready to go LIVE the day the court weighs in next week? E.g., that day your business name is filed, p.o. box, phone number, domain name, website, advertising, purchasable products or services via credit card and/or Paypal, etc? If not, what are you waiting for?

I would love to be able to do this, but I won't be able to get this done in such a short time - although some of it has been done to some extent.

- Website, Check (half done)
- Domain name (check)

Please forgive me if I am being stupid, but why get all this done prior to the courts weighing in? Show intention to work?

I wonder if I could get somebody to help me set all that up really cheaply. I suppose I could create a version of my website as one page and keep it simple, that will mean I can get it done quicker.

According to a quick google search it says people with Pension Credit, Income Support or Universal Credit are eligible for BT+Broadband, and it seems pretty low cost

I must really thank you for this. In response to my lawyer saying that my wife was going to terminate the internet and phone from end of August in any event and recommended that I sort out an alternative provider, I called BT. I had researched it before when you said about it.

I spoke to a really nice girl and told her my situation and asked about the service. She looked my information up and told me that I qualify. For 15gbp/mnth I get unlimited broadband, unlimited phone calls, new home phone & router, a free house moving service (in as much as moving the broadband for free when I move) and I can keep the same phone number.

The connection date is 31 August - the exact same date as I get disconnected from my previous supplier.

Out of all the rubbish things that have happened over the past 12 weeks, this is the best one that has cheered me up! All my worries about not having internet for phone access have gone, and I was told that internet will only be down for a few hours that day. I told the girl that I loved her and thanked her. I know it sounds stupid, but that was the best phone call I have ever had and a huge weight off my shoulders.

Your help here was invaluable and I am extremely grateful for you mentioning this.

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Today I went to the neighbouring town to meet a guy I used to chat to in the coffee shop when the wife and I used to live near there. I met him in the town I lived in. It was a good chat and yes, I did tell him about my position, but we also spoke about other stuff. He was telling me that there a cycling groups around that town that go out in the country. I have to email him later with some information I said I would send and will ask if he can find out with the groups there, if there are any cycling groups around this area - then I need to get a bike!

I also went to the shop to get a few bits, get some fuel and drove home. All of it was tough as it was the first time I had been to the town and the coffee shop since we had split and everything reminded me of what we used to do. But I did it anyway, regardless of the shakes. I know it sounds so basic and pathetic, but everything is an effort and everything I look at looks weird - I see it as it is, but it seems like it's not real and that I'm looking at an illusion rather than being a part of things. This is a similar feeling I had right at the start of this neurological thing, where I felt dissociated almost all of the time.

Regarding my frame of mind, lack of sleep and stress levels, I have a call from the mental health team tomorrow - not that I'm unstable or anything you understand - but because I am finding all this so tough and can't stop shaking and am finding things difficult. I spoke to the guy a couple of days ago and he seems like a nice guy. He said that he just wants to see how they can help. I don't want to get dragged down by this and it looks like my wife is doing everything possible to make try to make that happen - since she left. But I am doing what I can to get the support I need in the short-term.

I also chatted to a woman who called today who works in social care, to see if she could offer any advice or assistance with stuff, seeing as this bloomin' condition gets in the way. Had a good chat, and she will call me tomorrow after looking into what she may be able to help with. I discussed about housing options, etc., although I don't want to get stuck in an inadequate property where I need to get rid of all of my belongings to 'fit into' it. This is another massive worry for me.

I think the hardest thing is that I've gone from having an OK life, planning and thinking about the future and working out how to create an income, to having everything taken from me and being thrust into an nightmare situation. But that's how we grow, right?

I know it sounds harsh, but I can't be held responsible for my wife's decisions, she has to face the consequences of those - whatever they may be, including taking money without knowledge or authorization, stopping paying the rent for a property she is on the tenancy for, cancelling utility bills, etc. Her decisions have put me in a situation that I cannot support myself in ... yet ... and I know I need to create a different one. CWarrior's comments have made me think, but for the life of me I can't see how that would benefit my situation prior to the courts getting involved. However I can see how that would benefit me going forward. I have to give some thought into how to simplify what I can offer, but I know a good place to start with that now and meet-up has given me a different slant to my original idea. I'm just concerned that I am not in the right frame of mind at the moment, although one could argue that it may get me into the right frame of mind!

Just came off a Zoom group (via meetup) about overcoming anxiety (second week). This is a good group and the guy who runs it assigns practical tasks and then split people up one-on-one for a discussion. It's a shame it's not IRL.