Picking Up the Pieces After WAW Goes Again #3

[smilie]

As to the how things ended. While I can understand your distress over the financial aspects of this, because let's be real she was basically grifting you at the end, I'm not really sure why you're so hyper focused on her planning her exit for a year or two. This is entirely common. Most people don't just up and leave marriages. Especially ones that aren't brand new.

Yes she was grifting me and that is not a nice thing to do and is the thing that has really got to me I think. This was never in her character and I refuse to believe that this is of her own doing without the input of another.

I wouldn't say that I was hyper-focused on this, it was just surprising. I didn't know it was common as I have never looked to do anything like it.

Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom.

I realize these are just two examples but there are tons on this board. There are very few people who wake up one day and think you know I want out and just leave. And honestly I would think a person like that is far more unhinged than a person who's really thought about leaving for a while before they pull the trigger. And would your pain right now be any less if she just packed her sh!t and walked out the door to never return? You can't control how this happened. It sukks. I understand. But focus that energy on something you can control.

I understand that it's not just a sudden thing, but that's the way it appears from the LBS viewpoint, especially when nothing has been mentioned or indicated to be an issue.

This is exactly what she did the last time and I'm 100% certain that she was living with OM too for best part of 9 months before she wanted to come back home. This doesn't not mean that I'm waiting, so please don't read that, but I do miss the person that she was and the life we built & spent together.

So what can I control? This is the question. I feel that there is little I can control and because the financial aspect is getting in a precarious position, the worry of that is overtaking everything else. I really don't know how to put my worries - or ruminations - aside.

I have just revisited the court filing and it's only been a week, so hopefully I should head something next week.

So in that vein, here stateside people with low and fixed incomes can get a huge discount on broadband and DSL internet. According to a quick google search it says people with Pension Credit, Income Support or Universal Credit are eligible for BT+Broadband, and it seems pretty low cost. It also says Virgin Media is a good option as they do offer low income deals. I'm not sure how that would all work but it's something you may want to look into.

Ah thank you so much for this. This isn't something that is advertised or passed on. We can't get Virgin around here, but the BT option looks good. I need to get in there probably as I'm not sure about the implications on Universal Credit and the maintenance claim. I am also waiting to hear back from my stbxw following a letter of response from my lawyer regarding utilities as she mentioned she had arranged for the phone line to be disconnected at end of August. Not sure if it is happening yet, but it probably will by her past actions. Once I find out for sure I shall sign-up for the BT one as it looks good.