Mama bear mode is not a bad thing. Focus on your kids and whatever you need to do to be the best mom you can be.
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This week has been so trying, the kids are really feeling his absence as literally just last week he was spending most of his time here, sleeping over and things were really looking up.
My eldest (S8) is struggling and really misses his dad. The middle one (s6) is I think a bit too young to fathom any difference and the baby just wants me so it dosen't matter right now.
Remember, there is absolutely nothing you can do about his behavior. He's in charge of himself and you're in charge of you. It $ucks for your children that he's making these choices... but that is on him, not on you. If I were you, I'd use that deserved mama bear anger to help you continue to drop the rope. Take control of your own life and start focusing on decisions that are best for you and your kids. Don't worry about him anymore and whether he stays or goes or wants to R or not. Who cares? DnJ over on the MLC forum has some really great stuff on detaching that might be helpful for you to read. It sounds like you've made some great steps recently in detaching. Keep that up. With your children, do what you can to be there for them and support them, especially S8. Make sure they know they can talk to you about how they're feeling. Their dad might be an @ss but they have you.
Thanks May! Right now I am just trying not to hate him.
The eldest nearly broke me this morning, we had a little heart to heart about his father and why he isnt home. Im really trying to frame this in a way thats supportive of H and concentrating on how his father loves him more then anything etc etc But he just wasnt buying it. He asked me why he is acting like its all "rainbows and unicorns" when he should know how much its hurting him because his father has left and why shouldnt he try harder because we always told him family is everything.
That took a few deep breaths and alot of will to not cry.
