1) I would delay taking the financial hit until you make your plan to a) get her out of your apartment and b) get a second address. Make those plans pronto. Again, hopefully you can get a PO Box or new physical address without moving. I have a friend with a legal physical address they pay for but have never visited they use for tax and residency purposes. You're the one motivated to get the D, so you may end up offering her $$$ to leave the apartment solely to you--1st month's rent could be part of that.
Originally Posted by dmrafa
But would the heat that I would take for going back on my word (and the lack of integrity so to speak in that regard) be worse or would breaking up the family and the constant flip-flopping and lying and gaslighting be worse?
2) You're putting too much emotional weight on this decision. Whichever property you reside in, a D means breaking up the family, and she may continue to flip-flop and lie and gaslight. Although a D means a bit of insulation from that. Not perfect insulation, since you share kids. Wolfman and his ex, for example, seem to have more negative interactions than most couples who still live together.
