Howdy all! It's been a while so thought an update was in order.
In exactly 1 week she is closing on a house and moving out, I am keeping our current home. So things are progressing. The last few months have been OK for the most part - with a few hiccups here and there. The short version is I am now the one pushing the separation/divorce and she is having second thoughts. I don't know if it is because of the changes I've made to be a better person, if it is because all her side-dudes fell thru, if it is because she's realizing what this all really means going forward, or a combination of all the above. But she's been trying to pull me back and I am not letting her. It came to a head on a call with our counselor who is helping guide us thru this when she asked where each of us were and I said I was done and moving on. Of course, that makes me the a-hole now. Funny how that works.
The latest blow up came because I wasn't going to take time off of work to help her get situated in the new house - hang drapes, move furniture, etc. I did tell her I would help her move, because it is not just her stuff it is the boys' as well and I think it would be a dick move not to help her, but I am not going to build desks! Of course, this makes me a selfish a-hole as well. She has been packing her stuff up and got mad I wasn't helping - which isn't true because I've helped her pick up furniture, fixed things that she bought, and managed to jenga together 2 households' worth of stuff in the garage.
I've tried, and succeeded for the most part, to not take the bait or engage in fights when she throws out digs left and right but it is really hard now that I am done with all of it. But I don't want it to turn ugly - especially before she's actually out of the house. So I enforce the boundaries I can, suck it up otherwise, and keep an eye on the calendar. It's gonna be a long week...
