Well technically you can make someone stay against their will without it being kidnapping, but it takes a sh!t ton of emotional manipulation and a totally lack of empathy to do so. So it's possible but I don't think anyone who's even in the slightest emotionally evolved would want to do that.
As to the how things ended. While I can understand your distress over the financial aspects of this, because let's be real she was basically grifting you at the end, I'm not really sure why you're so hyper focused on her planning her exit for a year or two. This is entirely common. Most people don't just up and leave marriages. Especially ones that aren't brand new.
My H was considering an exit for almost a year before he actually planned to leave me for OW, but could never go through it. Not because he didn't want out, but because every time he thought he was ready to go he remembered why he was there in the first place. In his case it would turn into a cycle of resentment for me literally making his life easier and being a good wife. He was mad that I was "keeping him there." Which obviously I wasn't. He was just realizing his reasoning for leaving was ridiculous, and me just being me got in the way of his flawed logic. He can articulate that now, but at the time it was all vitriol and re-written history.
I had been wanting out for half of my MR in my first MR. I'd come back in because he'd beg and cry, and promise to change. And we'd do the same thing over and over. And finally I got to a point where I decided I just needed to get out. I started stashing money away as my ex was financial abusive it was very, very hard for me to get my hands on that money and hide it. I can say I wasn't planning on leaving when I left. I had hoped to stay for 6-12 more months so I could leave and get a place of my own with all my own stuff, but something happened financially and I refused to bail him out so when he went to go beg his parents for the money I packed me and my kid up and went to go stay with a friend who had extra rooms for us.
I realize these are just two examples but there are tons on this board. There are very few people who wake up one day and think you know I want out and just leave. And honestly I would think a person like that is far more unhinged than a person who's really thought about leaving for a while before they pull the trigger. And would your pain right now be any less if she just packed her sh!t and walked out the door to never return? You can't control how this happened. It sukks. I understand. But focus that energy on something you can control.
So in that vein, here stateside people with low and fixed incomes can get a huge discount on broadband and DSL internet. According to a quick google search it says people with Pension Credit, Income Support or Universal Credit are eligible for BT+Broadband, and it seems pretty low cost. It also says Virgin Media is a good option as they do offer low income deals. I'm not sure how that would all work but it's something you may want to look into.
