Been here before. MLC? WAS? Not sure

[SteveLW]

Ugh - Need to vent again or potentially get a 2x4...

So something just didn't feel right after reading those emails from the AP. I also kept thinking about how he was accusing me of an affair early on after BD. Also everyone here seemed to have experienced finding the AP was happening for a lot longer/more in depth then originally thought.

I thought the emails originally correlated with the dates he told me, but I then thought he could have been just as easily deleting stuff as he went along?

I know snooping is like revenge, its hurts both parties, but I chose to go ahead to do it because I needed to know. I needed to know the truth and then base my decision off that, not off his feelings/waffling which changes weekly.

So i got access to the phone bills (originally didn't have access because it was a business account but I changed the settings over the phone and the fool I spoke to didn't ask too many questions)

Well it seems my spidey sense was right, he met her last year sometime, the earliest date I can see him contacting her is Dec 22,2020. Thats based on the current phone number i have of the OW. I am making no assumptions that this is the actual date of first contact because who knows if she didn't get a new number or whatever. BD was mid Jan, 2021

So he has been having an affair, lying to me the whole time, even when I would ask point blank during those times he said he wanted to try about the extent of his involvement with her. He always said he never slept with her but I call BS.

Now heres where I may need the 2x4... I want to call her. I want the details, I want to know how long its been, how they met, if they slept together. What her intentions were.


So do I or do I let it all go.

First, what does any of this change? What will getting more details change?

LBSs are notorious for chasing rainbows. I did it. "If I only knew what was said between them!" But after I would find out I felt worse, and it changed NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, I should be doing.

Second, how would a properly detached person behave? Snooping? Calling the AP? etc.

Third, if you contact her, she will lie. You cannot believe a word that comes out of her mouth so why even inquire from her what her intentions are. You will never know for sure.