we're done again (#3)

[97Hope]

It's painful but necessary to truly evaluate the relationship they are offering (or not offering) and to analyze and be honest about what we have been/are willing to accept.

It took me a long time to get to the point where I did not want my XH anymore, but I had to list out the reality of a R with him. It helped so much. For a long time after BD, we look at the R through those rose-colored glasses, but as we heal and process, we can see it all.

I agree with BL42!! DO NOT agree to anything financial. It's a business deal. Full stop. Talk to a L and take everything you can. You are dealing with a person you don't know anymore, who is not interested in your best, they are only thinking about how they feel and they are in the center of every choice they make right now. I fought hard for my settlement and I am so glad I did. I let my L handle everything and I have no regrets. Ironically, my XH respected the heck out of me (that's not why I did it).

Bottom line, don't try and be a nice guy when it comes to finances.