Onward and Upward!

[97Hope]

Thanks B (((hugs))


You are right, I believe. We have to face grief head on, or we won't heal properly.

That night was very difficult. I went to work the next 2 nights, and then went to Oklahoma to see youngest S19 graduate from Basic Training. It was lovely. S19 was very emotional to see us and to leave again for his next training (4 more months). His girlfriend rode with me. XH took a plane and I picked him up from airport and we used my car to get around.

While at the graduation, he acted like we were still married. S19's drill instructor said something about me being XH's spouse, and XH didn't correct him, even went on to say something about me being his trophy wife (we were married at 19 y/o and he's always joked that he didn't age well and people think I am his younger trophy wife). I just let it slide off my back.

After family day, he wanted me to come to his room. I didn't at first, but then I did. Watched a movie and other things....Next day after graduation, I took him to the airport. Then he texted and called to see if I made it home safely.

It's nothing new in his world, really. He continues to act like we are still "us" when he's around me. If I don't stay strong, I fall back into the pattern.

Going to look at a house today. I'm excited with the prospect of getting out of the apartment.

Processing these things as they come and praying that I learn how to navigate this new normal.

I'm seeing a doctor on tuesday to figure out what's going on with my stomach. They think it's a giant ulcer and I'm just ready to get back to feeling physically strong.

Emotionally, I'm in a better place.

I sure hope this house works out and I can have more GAL activities that bring some joy. A new house would mean a lot of work that would be fun for me.

I think the apartment life isn't for me.

I hope everyone is well.

xo