We were seperated for a few months before they met. Not sure I would classify it as cheating. Just angry that he clearly lied about the extent of the relationship. He maintained it was merely a friendship that had developed "feelings" yet the emails I read was the about the eternal love he has for her even if they cant be together. To be clear, they both sound loopy, they knew each for four months (this has been confirmed from the emails I read) and her emails made it sound like her one true love was leaving.
I guess the truly detached would be reaching levels of peace and that none of it would be bothering them..but I am bothered by the lies.
This is exhausting just even thinking to reconnect. If what WF said was true and this waffling is to be expected... and it's highly unlikely i'll get any mountains moved. Then perhaps a better way to frame it is what is expected of me? If this is going to go ahead... then I want someone to give me what i am willing to give them. Without trying to sound arrogant, I am pretty good for a partner. He knows that I am trustworthy, honest, caring. I just want the same in return.
I want to know that when he says something, he means it. I want to know that for the most part, I have someone who is willing to stay the course and take this journey with me.
I hate that I don't have that. I also hate that if this has any potential of eventually working out then I feel I am moving the mountains, I am crawling along the grass. That the hard work is on me to try and forgive.
