Been taking a break from the moving process as it's just wearing me down and I'm so over it. I'm hoping to hire some muscle to finish it up, but so far, movers have been hard to come by.
My STBXHs AP has moved states and is now living with him. A part of me is glad, because I do feel it's the beginning of the end for them as I don't feel that relationship will last (Karma). I am also hoping that it means that things will finally move forward with the D as nothing has been happening. I just want to move on with my life and have my finances in order. I'm ready. But I also didn't want to make it easy on him and push the process through and do all the work. So I'm kind of stuck on what to do if things continue to drag out. I know I should not focus at all on what is happening with them...so now that things are where they are, I am now making a conscious effort to not poke around her social media channels. I've not looked in a week or so now. Progress.
The house is getting remodeled and ready to sell. Work is busier but still no solid offer on the position I asked for. I am really frustrated by the way they have dragged it out. Can you tell? I'm so over things in limbo and just waiting for others to make decisions. haha. I do have a plan B if this doesn't work out...so at least I'm not freaked out about it.
I'm going to take some time off since I've not had a vacation in a very long time. It will be some time for me alone to focus on my journey and self care. I'm planning to take a Bloom course on healing the PTSD of Infidelity and I hope that will be helpful. The time away will hopefully be some much needed focus on myself that has been hard to manage lately.
Lastly, I do feel I have some PTSD from the affair. I've been finding myself dwelling a lot on things lately. I've been having trouble sleeping too. I just feel stagnate. Numb. Maybe it's just exhaustion. But I know I need to focus on the feelings and work through them. So I hope to do that on this trip.
Anyway, I wanted to drop in and give everyone an update. I will spend some time catching up on threads, and I hope everyone is hanging in there and doing well.
El
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
