Just an insight today about the perennial topic of dating while separated. (Note: I DID date while separated, but was quite sure at that point I'd never take my H back if handed to me on a silver platter).
An article I read today reminded me of this, and my sister experienced this. It was a financial advice column, and the writer was talking about not wanting to leave her house to her boyfriend in her will (bought when they were together but in her name only as he had bad credit, low income, and owed alimony to his ex). She wanted to leave the house to her son, with the requirement that her boyfriend be allowed to live in it until he died - the reason being, she didn't want his daughters to inherit anything. And the reason for THAT was, she had started dating the boyfriend while he was separated, and the girls hate her because they think she broke up the marriage (as in, the parents would have reconciled if she hadn't gotten involved).
This was my sister's situation too. After her divorce from her cheating sociopathic exH, she began dating a guy who was separated. His wife had cheated on him too. (Well, basically she announced she wanted to go date other people, and he wasn't down for that!).
My sister went on to marry this man, and had a good marriage for a long time with her second husband until he died of sepsis two years ago. But his daughter from his previous marriage never warmed to my sister (even though my sister is a generous people-pleaser who really did everything possible to be a good step-parent). The main reason she never warmed to her was that HER mother told her that she would have gotten back together with her father if he hadn't gotten with my sister.
Now - it's not true that he would have taken his ex back and it was definitely his ex's choice that the marriage broke up. But because her mother planted these seeds in her daughter's mind, my sister was never able to have a really successful relationship with her step-daughter, and since his death, the stepdaughter has cut her out of her life.
Honestly, my sister realizes that she is probably better off without the stepdaughter, as she is a selfish and self-involved person anyway. And my sister, good soul that she is, is still including the step-daughter in her will. But it's a cautionary tale about what can happen if dating someone separated not divorced.
