So that same week he is wanting to try again. We talked and I told him he knew what I wanted, I wasnt going to repeat myself...I did add that I (and the whole family but he didnt need to know that) want him to seek some advice as to whether he is depressed. I am convinced he is and has suffered from it for a long time. He agreed to see our GP but I dont know what has come of that and I am not sure if I should ask.
It seems far more positive this time. Also different... much calmer, much more willing to be a hand on parent, offered up a "generous" schedule where he is sleeping over most of the week so I can have more free time for work etc. He is far more hands on with parenting/domestic duties.
My detachment is a little scary to me to be honest, I feel like now I am one step away from walking off myself. Part of me is waiting for him to screw it all up again. I don't care if this dosen't work out.
My home is looking lovely and will be finished soon. Work is crazy as we are in lockdown and most of my time and energy is going towards that and my kids. Still havent found an exercise app i like, might just try one out regardless.
I did a thing today which i dont know is good or bad nor do I know how to handle.
He took the kids out to the park and left his computer... so i snooped. I found emails from the OW dated from after our last R talk, it appears they organised to meet up and from what I can understand he ended it with the OW. However it appears from the emails I did read that their relationship was much much more than what he let on. He declared she was his eternal love.... he will miss her...blah blah blah. She also appears to be an absolute drama queen. I printed off copies to keep. I am going to raise this issue with my DB coach but I dont know what to do. Do i leave it? He ended it as I asked. But he never told me and I haven nit bought up the transparency question with him.
Im trying to take this day by day, im still surprised tbh by his actions this week, but I am looking for the "I will move mountains to be with you" before i feel more confident that next week he will still be around.
HI feel more time is needed, this weekly cycle of I love you ...I cant...but I love you has taken its toll and im trying really hard not to resent him for all he has done.
