So not too much has changed since what Ive posted about going on about a week ago. My H is still talking to people trying to work on himself. I'm still going out with friends, working, spending time with our son, hes been spending more time with him to in his free time then he has lately. We did go on a float trip the other day, kayaking, its one of the things we always did together and he invited me so I said yes. And it was a really great day. Its only been like 2 weeks since my H has turned around a bit so I'm nowhere near believing it fully or anything, I'm very very trepedacious. Just trying to give detail, the last 2 weeks he as I have said been to counseling twice now actually, alone, has been kind, no angry outburst or anything like that.
One thing thats been throwing me is he has started to say "Forever" again. About the time we got engaged it was just this think we said at the end of the night or conversation, when we would leave for work. Like "I love you and Forever Love" first time my H said this was output to me before work and I just said "Be safe" and left. Next time was over a text a few days ago saying I miss you, Forever Love... Again I didnt respond. (I originally thought that it was a habit and by accident) but he hadnt said it for about 2 months until now. And then again today he said it again, once again I sort of slid around it and didn't acknowledge it.
I dont say something unless I mean it, its going to be a LONG time before I'd ever want to say that again. I guess its really just throwing me lately with how often hes saying it. I dont know if I should say something about it to him or just keep ignoring it.
Something that hasn't been mentioned on the board in a while (that I've seen) is the idea of temperature checks. A lot of times when LBSs get really good at DBing, the WAS will temp check....to see if you are still on the hook. I think you taking this trepidatiously is very wise. To reiterate: you will know he wants to R when his actions are consistent over a long period of time. Think 6 months or longer.
So keep doing what you are doing. Also, next time he invites you on a kayak trip be busy! Being too available is not a good thing. Remember, while he does show signs of wanting to come back, he did BD you! So be moving forward without him, until he makes it completely obviously clear that he REALLY wants to stay.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
