So it took about three days before he decided it was a mistake "trying to get close to me again".
It was to do with his lack of effort with the kids presently. He visits daily or so but has nothing to do with actual parenting.
So i asked him to organise some type of routine, we are in lockdown currently and I cannot access my usual support. I wanted him to take the kids for a few hours in the evening each second day so I can get ahead on my work. That blew up. Absolutely refused since he has a "business to run". He cannot possibly take the kids and organise dinner etc.
So i said thank you and goodbye.
I feel like he is part way between a Mexican Standoff and pretending it's all ok. I am just detaching as much as possible. It's been hard to GAL when there isn't much we can do, but I have organised my new furniture that came, created a study nook so the kids and I can do our work together and currently looking at some time of exercise program that I can do with the kids. Lockdown has not helped the waistlines.
My two biggest issues are the kids and boundaries.
1. Kids
Very receptive to his moods, lockdown and just everything else currently happening. My S6 keeps telling me he is unhappy but dosent know why. My S8 has regressed with his sleeping and schoolwork. Constantly needs me for everything. The S2 is just attached to me as per usual. But I am really worried about the older two.
I dont know if its just because of everything that is happening and it will pass with time or should I be organising counselling for them?
2. Boundaries.
It seems to be the same as before, the more I distance or detach the more he is obnoxious or just negatively seeking my attention. It's generally little things and comments. Like... you spent a lot of money on groceries.... or why so much food for (S8 birthday lunch) lunch? no one wants it (there was single plate of leftovers). Currently, my tactic is I smile and reply innocently...I am not sure what you mean?
Should I be saying something or keep my current strategy?
