WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - Divorced Anyway (4)

[BL42]

I think you are doing well, BL. You are a great father to your kids and you’re processing things in a healthy way. Eventually, you will burn through your anger and resentment and reach indifference.

You’re going to be just fine, my friend. You have a bright future ahead of you.

Thanks Thornton! Appreciate the encouragement.

This is your mind playing tricks on you. Specifically the "one big happy pre-fabricated family" part. You simply have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.

Could be. My mind certainly makes it seem that way. Thinking objectively (though without evidence) my guess is they are all happy for the time being and in that honeymoon / blissful stage, but who knows - just seems like they're my kids, and it should've been my family, and it doesn't seem fair or right to see them all together. I suppose the anger will dissipate over time...it's gotten better since last Summer but still pops up.

Also, if this is a trigger for you, why do you have to do drop offs? Why can't she come pick them up? Why not decide on a public place to do the exchanges?

Our current arrangement is the parent who has the kids drops off to the parent who is getting the kids (so it alternates every week). Don't think it would be reasonable to have ExW do all drop-offs (even if her actions caused all this).

I'm not too excited about the public drop-off. My kids are young so it means two car seat exchanges and seems less convenient and "colder" for them to have to go to a public parking lot. As their father I should be the one taking the hit on my feelings to protect them.

With the new school year approaching, I've considered asking ExW to switch from Sunday evening exchanges to Mondays before/after school. First, it'd be fewer transitions for the kids...they currently go over to her house every other Sunday night and then come back to mine for before school Monday morning, as I care for them before/after school even on her weeks. Second, it may be less disruptive for them on Sunday evenings...no hurrying up to finish playing with friends, or quick finish dinner, or having to take a baths or do homework before bed at the next house...etc. Third, and this one's for me, it would result in less interaction with ExW and trigger points of seeing OM2's truck. However, I want to think that out fully before floating the idea because it'd also mean seeing the kids on fewer days (even if the total time is the same).