I spoke with my lawyer yesterday about a letter she is writing to my stbxw lawyer as information still hasn't been provided for utilities online accounts. I'm not too sure about all of this at the moment and I asked that they are paid until the end of August as I have paid the rent here until then and my stbxw is also responsible for that, so it is only fair she pay the utilities seeing as they re in her name and she isn't giving the information so I can change things.
Smilie, if I understand correctly, she's being generous in paying your utilities, but you feel very uncomfortable because you're uncertain when it may stop. Does your lawyer believe you can force her to pay or provide account details? I wonder why this isn't as simple as--"Thank you for covering my utilities for July. Are you going to cover August? If not, I'd like to transfer the account to my name, so I can avoid costly termination and reconnection fees." For me, legal letters are what I send when they have teeth when I can enforce things--e.g., make her pay rent. Unless your STBXW is expected to cover legal fees, most lawyer's hourly rates are more than the cost of a month's utilities and it wouldn't make financial sense to engage a lawyer to draft such a letter.
Originally Posted by smilie
The other option is to offer my stbxw an updated amount for maintenance (a lesser amount due to reduction in rent) and then have that agreement ordered by the court. The chances are that she would refuse this as she is claiming that she hasn't got any money left at the end of each month.
Whatever the court deems fair, they usually enforce. If you're expecting her to be more generous than the court deems fair, I'd drop that line of thinking, unless she's strongly indicated such intentions. I'd try to focus more on the expected outcome (per your Lawyer) rather than your XW's offers.
Originally Posted by smilie
The thing is I will lose the house if I don't pay the rent up front, which means I will have to pay more rent here.
It's a math problem, right? Lawyer, if I continue paying rent, what is the guideline amount the court is likely to order her to pay? Laywer, if I pay rent a year in advance, what is the guideline amount the court is likely to order her to pay? Your lawyer should be able to answer both questions. Then, which works out best for you? Again, as you make these calculations, don't expect any extra charity or generosity from your XW. If it happens, great, but don't expect anything like that.
