Ok well that's a lot. And clearly you're not doing ok. So let's take this one step at a time. Currently you have a place to be warm and dry. You have food if you get hungry. Assess the things around you. Are you safe, are comfortable, is your body in tact? If the answer is yes, hooray! You're alive and mostly well. Take a few deep breaths. Slow your breathing down, and try to slow your mind.
I need you to understand that things could truly be worse. You could be homeless, you could be ailing, you could be starving. But right now for the most part, you are ok. Not great. Not wonderful but ok. And ok is all that's necessary. Now that's not to negate how you feel. How you feel is valid but valid feelings don't mean they are the truth. Smilie, you're being incredibly fatalistic over some pretty standard stuff that happens with divorce and having to deal with government allowances. From what I read, your lawyer isn't against you. She is telling you exactly what will happen given the choices you have in front of you. That's her job. You pay the year up front for rent and you ask stbxw for less in maintenance. Which sure she could refuse, but here that's what the court is for. I'm not sure how different that is over there. As far as I know your wife can refuse all she wants but it's ultimately up to the court just the way it is here. All of us who've been divorced had to eat some sh!t sandwiches in the agreement to get it over with. And it was a money suck for all of us too. This is all normal. Is it fun? NOPE. But it is normal and to be expected.
2 weeks is a lot of time. Your whole life can change in 2 weeks. Your whole life can change over night. We know this. You have 2 weeks to weigh your options and make some executive decisions. You don't need to change your glass half empty view on life and trade it in for some toxic positivity, but you do need to stop smashing the glasses to bits simply because you think they're half empty not half full. Make the decision that puts a roof over your head and stops the money bleed sooner than later. What ever that is. Talk to your lawyer again and ask for clarification and details if you can't understand what she means and the likelihood of you winning if your stbxw contests things. If you truly believe this lawyer doesn't have your best interests in mind find a new one. But I really do think you're misinterpreting things in the same way your friend misinterpreted you.
Also you need talk therapy. Like a month ago. CBT is great but there are online programs you can work with. Ask your physician if there's one through NHS or one they recommend. The health care system I work with here had me on online CBT for my depression concurrently with talk therapy so I could afford to do both. You need a person face to face who can hear what you're saying and validate you or give you a new perspective. They also offer up tools to manage symptoms and on way to communicate better. Not only sharing but also receiving information. I truly think you'd benefit greatly from having someone to simply talk to who can offer you some comfort and some tools.
Smilie, I understand that this all seems very hard, and like it's too much, but you have to understand and believe this is all temporary. And you didn't do anything to deserve this but this is what your life is right now and your only choices here are to lay down and let this situation and stbxw just happen to you or you can stand up and take control of what little you have complete control of here which is yourself and your future. None of this is going to be easy, or quick. You have to accept the reality of the situation before you and accept that while it's a hard road to travel you will reach the other side. You aren't alone. And this isn't the worst thing that has or will happen to you. This is one of many obstacles you've already traversed. Just slow down. You got this.
