Wolf…echoing what others have said. A cautionary tale for you. My SD 21 had a similar interaction with my XH. After not talking to him for over a year, she decided to sit down with him for a meeting. I suggested to him prior to this meeting that he do nothing but listen and validate her experience of their relationship as I knew that it would take about five minutes for him to get defensive and start arguing with her that his view is the accurate one. He didn’t listen. Instead, he focused on defending himself and tried to come up with examples that, to him, proved she was wrong. She walked away from that meeting convinced that she was 100% right about him and has since cut him out of her life. Whether or not that changes in the future, I have no idea but if he wants it to, he is going to have to work really, really hard to make it happen. Knowing him the way I do and watching how his relationship with his dad has played out, I think that is highly unlikely to happen. If you want a relationship with your daughter, you are going to have to stop trying to defend yourself and start listening and validating…whether you agree with her or not. The “truth” is highly subjective and doesn’t actually matter in situations like this. Perception is everything. The sooner you understand this, the better. (((HUGS)))
