Well she contacted me last night...by phone, in her car heading home from work. Said she wanted to end us. I said ok, I respect. I said I wish you all the best in the future, I love you...and she replied "I love you too". WHAT? I had to say if you love me then why are we ending. I don't recall the particulars from there, but suffice it to say she wasn't feeling it and as it went the thought occurred to me that if she truly loved me, she would not be letting me go. Once that thought crossed my mind, I let go and we ended the call.
There's a sermon out there that I'm particularly fond of. It helped me so much getting through my D and it's words and message continue to help me to this day. It's called "don't drown in shallow water." Two phrases from that sermon resonate with me as these relationships I have come and go. 1) "Stop grieving over the boat" and 2) "You can't be saved by what it was, you can only be saved by what it is" If anyone is reading this in pain or stuck trying to move forward, I encourage you to look for it online.
