Ellie I'm sorry about your classmate. Yes, we all need to live our lives. As I was waiting for the coffee to perc I was reflecting on a family we know, one of their children was a classmate of our son's. About two or three years before my own sitch blew up, the wife blew up their family. The husband had gotten help for a drinking problem and had about 4 years in recovery. He worked hard, built a business, was a devoted family man, and had taken up fitness in a serious way (think marathon runner). According to her he was "boring" now that he didn't drink. She went girls gone wild. I know way too much about some of the really twisted things she got into and the people she got into them with. He was such a great guy and they had a beautiful family. He started drinking again. Don't know if he's stopped. I was thinking that I can see their situation so clearly, can see that the wife was the one with the serious problems (did I mention her screwed up childhood? yup, another one with unresolved childhood trauma blowing up their lives midstream) while the husband had worked hard to address his own issues. His grief response was so extreme, he started drinking again. Don't know what happened after that. The husband wasn't the person having the breakdown, but it certainly dragged him down into a pit of despair that he may or may not have climbed out of.
I was also going through some boxes in my closet and found a bunch of clothes that I haven't worn in a minute. These were wardrobe staples the last couple years of my marriage (jeans). I WAS NOT FAT but I've internalized that so much.
Why do we let the obviously crazy people affect us so deeply that instead of living we merely exist? Life is so very short. Scr3w that. Time to really live, before you're gone. It'll be over before we know it. Minimize those regrets and use the best china more than you have in the past.
My mom had a beautiful diamond band that my dad gave her. It's sat in the box for years and years. I'm wearing it now, because she loved it, but wanted to keep it "for best" so never wore it. I started wearing it to remember them both and how much they loved each other. She has so many things tucked away "for best" ... when the heck is best? Today is best, it may be all we have. We will never be this young again, so think about that for a second. Sorry for the long rant. This batch of coffee was stronger than yesterday's, obviously.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
