Let me start by saying, sorry its taken me so long to reply, work, festivals with my son, life, lol. So i will do my best to reply to everyone.
Quick bit on the last week, Headlines anyways My H had his first meeting with the military Chaplain today in which he had planned to learn about more counseling and marriage related services, I hadn't asked for this info, he told it to me of his own accord. It should have ended awhile ago and I have not gotten ahold of my H to see how it went, he went to work right after, or was suppose to at least. Which has been very difficult for me so far but I am trying to stay strong. Also My H asked me if I'd be interested in this sort of Marriage related seminar through the Military, its called Strong Bonds, its a sort of seminar with couples on tips on communication and things such as this apparently, he has to sign up soon he said if so, I asked him how long for the deadline, he says he has to check but he believes he has about a month. I told him I am not ready to make that decision right now but I will try to let him know before the deadline if possible. My H has been thoughtful towards me in many ways and very communicative about his schedule and future plans, I have been friendly and attentive but not overly so, or pursuing on the Information... Unless necessary for our son of course.
SteveLW After typing this I'm going to go and reread Sandi's rules to help me remeber them all lol And I have been keeping up pretty well with staying upbeat and not getting pulled into Talks the last week. My H has tried a few times and I've been polite and engaged but ultimately have been able to get by without really giving answers, I guess thats the best way to say it. And trust me, I own my side of our problems because I can't move forward to be the person I want to be without acknowledging them, but I won't tell him I am committed to working on everything until he can own up to what he has done (not all the behaviors in our M as I know that will probably take more time and help, but the last few months for sure).
LH19 I have been GALing my butt off as suggested, had a great time going to a fair and concert with a good friend and another day with my son I've been focusing on work and my son, and friends, much more then I thought id be able to.
CWarrior When I was saying we I believe it was more future related on if I should do it soon or not. Also I am very excited for the Vacay and would have NEVER took one without him before and it's very freeing.
Ready2Change 19 when I had my son, and H was 20 when we met, but other then that everything is pretty accurate lol I am trying to do your advice as well. As for your second response, I have been working on my list, already have had a few things happen from it, obviously I'm wanting him to do more before Im anywhere near believing him on truly working on things.
May22 Obviously the second situation is more like mine, I have definitely faltered at times, still being so new to all of this, but I have come a long day and I am doing my best and getting stronger in it all everyday. Also I am truly glad you see the "car talk" as I will refer to it, more the way I did, I suppose you'd have to be there to get it alot of the time. I definitely never made it out like what he did was my Fault at all. My H at times has said he is sorry for the infidelity, S etc. but definitely still tries to blame the S on our problems and tries to justify it in which I usually try to make a statement that's validating how he feels at the time but that I disagree and I make an excuse to leave. Its only happen maybe twice while othertimes he takes full blame but it is still happening so I know he isn't fully ready yet, if ever. Thank you for telling me your story with your S, I definitley am not near believing this time for real, it will of course take me a long time to, if this is real. I will look up that Youtube video the first chance I get You are correct with boundaries, It's defintley one of the biggest issues I have had, I have however gotten MUCH better at them the last weed, something about him wanting to work on things has made it easier the last week to detach and maintain boundaries, not sure thats good or bad, Im just being honest. I am constantly rereading forums on both subjects to permanently burn the words in my mind LOL Thank you for your support.
Hoping I got everyone, Thank you all for your advice and support as always, I know I wouldnt feel as okay as I do right now, without you all
I've been focusing on work and my son, and friends, much more then I thought id be able to. 
