Picking Up the Pieces After WAW Goes Again #3

[smilie]

I found CBT + Exposure super helpful in dealing with specific anxiety. Anxiety is irrational but can't be reasoned away. I only talked to my therapist for 30min once a month. I just kept going through the steps: (a) predicting how much many things would bother me, (b) tackling something that would bother me but not too much, (c) if I felt stuck, checking what negative thought pattern I was using. The 30min sessions basically helped keep me at right-level challenges, and sometimes break down the biggest challenges into more meaningful pieces.

Ah brilliant, so not long sessions then or very frequent. So my CBT girl is on about me keeping a worry diary of things that I'm worried about. The thing is because it's the state (NHS), she has to go through certain questions before and after each session, these take about 10 mins, so I only get 20 mins. I don't get chance to do a worry diary too much, as I am working on them all at the same time as they need to be addressed at the same time. I'll see what she has to say tomorrow.

It's the best therapy I've ever done. If you can't force yourself to do something you know you want to or should do it could be helpful.

I've got plenty of those. I tend to see things from a more negative perspective if I can't get to do the things I want to do and they go on not being done for a long time. This is what has happened over the past couple of years waiting on my stbxw to be onboard with things - ends up in a loop of learned helplessness and I end up losing motivation. Things can be on the change soon hopefully

I found talk therapy was more helpful for complex topics. E.g., your attempts to demonize your STBXW would be effectively challenged and you'd gain more perspective. In my case, it helped me overcome *some* childhood trauma by reviewing the incidents with new eyes. Sometimes, a child believes they have more power over a situation than they actually do.

I've never usually found this type of therapy too useful but I do like talking about things that I stress about or have issues around. But nothing gets sorted. I think it needs to be a little of that and then more solutions focused.

I have not found my ideal treatments for childhood trauma or basiphobia yet.

Basiphobia - looked it up, how strange, are you tall then by any chance? Tall people as they are growing up tend to be self-conscious about being taller than their peers and tend to slouch to make themselves appear shorter than they would if they stood erect.

Anyway, you would probably be able to get that one out by finding a good NLP Practitioner who is very conversant with the "Fast Phobia Cure" (although you can't say cure now, so it's the "Fast Phobia Model"). You can get rid of a phobia in 5 minutes. Find somebody though who is also familiar with timeline therapy as they can then combine the two and get an even better result.