Most of which were lies. Lies that I am able to prove.
It can be hard to prove a negative. E.g., it's easy to prove "I said X", hard to prove "I didn't say Y." I didn't see any examples of lies about you. I did see examples of her lying to protect her mom.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
Example, my complained that I called her a rat, because she was telling my ex everything that was going on in my house. Saying how dare I call her that. I acknowledged it and said maybe that was not appropriate and I apologized to her for that.
Was it "maybe not appropriate" or very inappropriate? Did you acknowledge that? Did you ask how it made her feel? Did you validate her feelings? It's hard being present in an uncomfortable moment, facing our human failings as parents. I assume it's true since you apologized. Props for taking ownership and apologizing.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
But I said you are complaining that I said that and that it was hurtful, what about what your mom says to you? She said like what? And I quote, How many times did your mom say you smelled like $h*t and looked like that? She said she didn’t? I said are you sure, please don’t lie to the therapist and then she didn’t say anything. Afterward I have recordings of her mom yelling at her saying those things.
So. Much. Focus. On. Your. XW. Your D"s issue was you called her a rat. You spent 3 lines talking about that, 5 lines talking about what XW called her. I hope in the actual session you spent more time talking about your harsh words than XW's harsh words. I get your goal was to show your D lies--in these examples, to cover up your XW's shortcomings. You made that point as soon as she said, "She didn't" and you showed the recording. Wolf, in my own thread I mention my trauma and triggers. Things I am incapable of talking about well until I get more therapy. Your XW sounds like one of those topics for you. I do think therapy will be faster and more successful for your relationship with D if you dropped the XW, at least until you've worked through your trauma. If you feel XW is an unfit parent, maybe that could be brought up in a separate proceeding. Someone here mentioned appointing a guardian ad litem for your D which could help with that.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
Another lie was that I shoved my gr down her throat. I said I gradually tried to introduce her to you. And then she said I only met her a few times. I said why? Because you didn’t want me to bring her around more, so I was honoring ur wishes. So if I bring her around it’s too much, if I don’t you didn’t get to know her. So I lose. I said what about your mom?
I'm not sure where you feel she lied here. She didn't want to see your GF. If I understand correctly, you think that's unfair. XW got to introduce her BF, while for you a "fast" approach was shoving her down D's throat, a "slow" approach" meant D didn't know her. With your GF, with your D, there may not have been an optimal frequency that would've won. The winning technique was probably honoring that D wants nothing to do with GF, that she only wanted to see you?
