Solo travel is a good test run for your new life, getting comfortable doing things on your own. It also provided me a serious sense of accomplishment doing things alone again.
And isn't it amazing how out of practice you become? I've always been able to do stuff on my own and strike up conversations. In actually fact it's the one thing that the stbxw used to find ambarrassing to start with when we first got together. She doesn't have such social skills so relied on mine to start conversations with people, so it's something that I've always done. But, this doesn't stop me feeling self-conscious and then there's the sitting by yourself in the restaurant just staring into space or looking out of the window. Luckily I've had loads of stuff to write as I need to fill in the application for for my disability assessment now and the questions they ask are leading and try to force you into yes/no answers.
So I am noticing that I am fairly highly stressed at the moment and the slightest thing sends me of shaking. I was thinking about where I am. The town is rubbish and there's absolutely nothing to do, but it's by the seafront (not a tourist destination) and it's pretty rundown in places. But I am wondering if this could be a place just to spend a while to gain my bearings and build up me again. I have found a little house, 2 bedrooms and quite small, literally one minute walk from the promenade and although nothing special, it's within reach of various other places by road, train or bus. There's a big city about a 50 minute drive away or an 1hour 15min train ride away. It's certainly worth the thought, even if it's for just a year and it's 250 miles away from the stbxw and my situation - at least I'll have my own space and not need to worry about bumping into her and her new partner.
But I was thinking this morning that it was a crap place - and it is but it just may do as the rent is really cheap and that made me really panic and shake, as I was thinking that this has all been a waste of time and money and that I have got less time before I need to move and need to start all over again.
The only thing is, is that there is absolutely nothing to do. I even went up the town this evening to the bars to take a look around. Not one of them done food and there only people in them seemed to be older men! So that's pants. However, there are more shop here than where I live and even more cafe's (I think), there's also a larger choice of supermarket and there the option of walking along the prom, or course, not brilliant but a good hours walk.
The climate is much cooler - it was 29 where I live now and about 20-22 here. The wind off the sea is strong. There is also a golf course just over the road from the house and I have golf clubs! Haven't used them in a while.
I went to look at another house this afternoon 1pm that I had arranged before leaving home a couple of days back. I was waiting for the agent and noticed that they had sent me a text message while en-route, saying that the landlord had found a tenant and the meeting was cancelled. Typical, and the house look nice and the location was brilliant and felt nice. Then I contacted another agent and arranged a viewing of another house in a neighbouring town, which seemed quite nice and I really liked it, but there was nowhere to put a dining table, which for me is an issue. Furthermore, the local here (a taxi driver, bar man and a random couple I stopped along the seafront) all say that the place where this house is isn't nice and the one that seems the only one suitable is the best area.
If I take this house I will need to get rid of my large sofa though and get another one, or two.
Originally Posted by wayfarer
Next make sure you let your care team know that you've basically been light headed and off feeling since you started those anti-depressants. There are sooooo many options out there now, there are other things you can try and should try that shouldn't have such an adverse effect on your body.
Fingers crossed on the housing situation. Good luck smilie!
The anti-depressants have actually been making me feel rather unwell and definately are interfering with my Vestibula symptoms. I didn't take one last night and I have felt much so better today. I have already shared my concerns with the doctor, but I shall go back and share them some more as it's stupid keeping carrying on. However, I will take one tonight as I can't just stop taking them in case there are repercussions.
All drugs seem to have an adverse effect on me since the start of this condition - even vitamin tablets and things. I remember taking magnesium tablets which made it worse, a B12 replacement which made it worse, CBD oil which made it worse, etc. Also my skin goes really salty and makes it feel smooth, including in my mouth. Sometimes it's so bad that it makes me gag. I went for a blood test the day I left to come here, so hopefully I shoul have some results back - I bet they find nothing ... as usual ... which is why I'm having so many problems trying to claim for disability. Time will tell.
I shall start a new thread when I get home tomorrow or over the weekend.
M(55), W(45) BD1: Apr-2011, BD2: 23-May-21, NC (15 June '21) Divorce Filed (16 July '21) --- When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you need to trust it's there.
