Eagle3, I am very analytical and logical. Before the BD, I had been delving into marriage skills, and after the BD, I dug into even more information about my situation. I am humble enough to admit the areas I know I need to work on, but I am analytical and logical enough to recognize things in my relationship that I see now I made excuses for, ignored, or put up with. So in the 8 or so months of dealing with the situation from where I've been, I just have come to realize that I deserve more than my STBXH gave me, that there were signs of his selfishness and weakness for a long time, etc. So I have now realized that I want more. And I am not sure that even with counseling he could ever be what I want him to be as a partner. Sure, it could be the MLC, and this part of him might change when he wakes up, but honestly, some of the signs go further back. I'm not sure it's being strong. I have no choice in many ways but to move forward. I do have the choice to put myself first, so that is what I am doing. Moving on from him is part of that.
And SteveLW, I live in a city, but we have a lot of green spaces and therefore bats. I had a couple of windows on the second floor open just an inch or so. They must have been chasing a bug towards the light in the house. But as one hit me and there was blood, they advised the vaccine as rabies is found in bats in our area. Maybe it's paranoia, but without catching the bat and having it tested, I sure didn't want to end up with the chance of rabies. We don't use screens much here...so it was just a random thing. Not usual at all. And not an attack. I think I turned the lights on and came into the hallway and freaked it out. They don't like bright lights.
El
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
