If we find some kind of counseling online thats cheap
When you say "we", who proposed therapy, who followed up on it, and who found the therapist?
These are not inconsequential details. I proceeded despite all the warnings not to enter MC until we were committed. In my first unsuccessful R attempt, I found the therapist after she called a couple and said nobody could see us anytime soon. I paid for therapy because it was too much, but she'd look into getting it reimbursed. Therapy consisted of her venting at me. If the therapist said I was anxious and she was avoidant, she'd repeat after the session that I was anxious. She'd ignore suggestions to bring us together, adopt suggestions taking us apart, and say it was the therapist's advice.
In my more successful R attempt "we" was "her" and in therapy, we both paid, we both got to speak, we both had homework, and we both worked on things. In fairness, it wasn't all rainbows and unicorns, and she ran out of some sessions and she vetoed some topics. At least we were both somewhat committed to working on the relationship for some period of time.
Edit: In part, we're sharing cautionary tales, because so many of us got too eager about R, lol. I love that you're taking your vacation with just you and your friends. I'm hopeful about your sitch.
