It's entirely possible that I'm missing something here, but I'm not the only one interpreting what you're saying that way. I'm sorry if it seems like we're not hearing you but this is what I got out of it:
As you reiterated that conversation it seems like you patiently sat there and let your cheating husband tell you what's wrong with you. And then you walked away from that conversation knowing there are things about yourself that you want to change because you have some habits and behaviors you're not proud of. While you did mention that you also shared some of your feelings on the relationship the take away from your husband was that since he hasn't been talking to anyone in the last week he thinks he wants to work on the MR.
Either you are leaving out huge portions of what is going down between you and H or you ARE letting him just slide back in the way he had before. Even telling him you need to think about things, you need space and want to take a vacation alone, while those are steps in the right direction it's not going to help in the long run if he's using your space and time to decided if HE wants to actually work on the MR. Like Steve said, it's an out that you handed him on a silver platter.
May's husband took a very, very long road to true remorse, but he showed a commitment to the marriage and their kids while working his way to remorse. It took my H a while to stop blaming his problems in our MR solely on me even when he was remorseful for the affair. It took a lot of time, patience, gentle nudging, and some serious introspection on his part. I'm not beyond understanding that this all takes time and WS doing everything on their own pace, but your H doesn't seem to be in this camp at all. He seems to just be playing with you. And you seem like you're fine with that.
There is something very out of sorts about this interaction that you seem to just be taking in stride and it doesn't feel right to me. Your insistence that everything is fine, you have this all under control after one day trip and a long talk feels like H has done his job in calming your fears enough to get you to stop talking about it and getting you to accept the burden of the blame. Not truly lifting a finger to help you feel secure. Not truly lifting a finger to show he really wants to work.
What I'm trying to tell you is keep your eyes open. This is a calm before a storm not a step in the right direction. Don't own blame that isn't yours just because there's some shame in how you handled things. And keep in mind a saying around here. "When the WS is all in you'll know, there's no doubt or question." This is probably one of the truest colloquialisms around here. You can actually feel it and see it when it happens. The whole energy in the house, between you two, and in your own body changes. There are a lot of things you need to do that are counterintuitive to try to make yourself a better person, and to work on a relationship, but don't let go of your intuition completely it's what will save you from being blindsided again.
