Help! Need Advice please Part 2

[SteveLW]

For someone that is insisting you aren't defending him, you sure are spending a lot of time defending him.

Anyway, the reason we are harping on you making sure to understand where you still stand is that we see this all the time. A WAS says the right thing and the LBS goes full bore into accepting them back, open armed, and thinking everything is now hunky-dory.

WAS lie. All the time. If their lips are moving they are lying. You read exchanges between him and OW. Did you listen into their phone calls? I guarantee that they spoke too, and didn't just type. You have no idea the extent of their messages, and you will never know. You saw innocent exchanges.

In my first sitch in 2005, I found my W's EAP OM on her AOLIM friends list. I asked her about him. She said he was a friend from Jr. High School, and that they occasionally IM'd with each other. She didn't know I had installed key capture spyware on her PC. So the next day she started telling her EAP about how I had asked about him and wanted to know what the nature of their conservations were. And then said: "Some night, if we are both online, maybe we could have an innocent conversation so that I could show him that what I am telling him is true." In the meantime they were having torrid conversations about what they'd like to do to each other.

The point is, that if you easily found these exchanges more than likely those were the conversations he wanted you to see. No cheater, EA or PA, leaves easily found evidence when their LBS' suspicions are already elevated. Please do not be naive about the nature of his relationship with her.


Also, in the future, do not give him an out when he comes to you and says "I love you and want to work on the MR." Your response: "Okay." Then go back to what you were doing. "You've said that before and then took it back a few minutes later, so take some time to be sure" was A) short cutting the fact that he may have in fact taken it back a couple of minutes later and B) gave him an out. "She is giving me time so that when I come back in a few days and tell her I am not sure again she'll be ok with it!"

Go back and read your last few posts: He said. He said. He said. He said. He said. Where is HE DID?

Even: "Also My H has contacted his Military Chaplain (He is in the Army NG) and has made an appointment to see his for counseling help.... Just found this out as I was typing this." is all talk right now. When is his appointment? Let's see if he really goes.