I'm not sure how to make it more clear that I don't believe what my H is telling me, other then that I don't. I do believe I have said this, and maybe it is getting lost in translation somewhere, I'm not really sure. I in no way believe everything from my H right now, I am merely trying to learn more of steps I can take with what is happening with my current situation.
Although I do know some behaviors I have developed over the past year have been sort of defense mechanisms. I am also aware that due to past relationships I brought many insecurities into this relationship from not dealing with resolving the issues within myself from past situations.
Also obviously I am NOT allowing him to slide back into anything, I still am unsure how this got translated into that, although I do highly despise electronics and definitley prefer face to face as so much gets lost in translation lol But I have tried to make it clear to everyone on here, I am NOT just letting him come back into my bed, or let him call and talk to me like nothing has happened, or doing things for him, or telling him I love him, or anything of the sort. I know from everyone on here, how detrimental that would, also I just am not willing to do that anyways as I have too much self respect to allow him anything which he definitley doesn't deserve right now.
I am still trying to take time to work on writing down what I would need from him to feel comfortable saying yes we can work on this. I'm at work so haven't had much time to focus on it yet, but I'm working on it. My H and I had gotten a vacation package months ago and I told him last night that I've decided I am taking it with my friends next month. So trust me that alone is a huge 180 for me So I am still doing my best to focus on GAL and not on him right now.
