WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont9.)

[Traveler]

Scott, wow, 19 days without seeing your kids would be terrible. I'm glad you got that weekend in!

I met with him last week since I was struggling and though I'm still in a lot of emotional pain it was helpful. I've started journaling again.. I just wish the impact on my mental and emotional well being wasn't so severe. Definitely dealing with some depression and an inability to focus on work - it seems meaningless.

I think it's wonderful you're taking some time to face your grief head-on. The grief can linger if we distract ourselves and don't set aside time to deal with it. There's a thread in Surviving the Big D where, due to parental health issues, the LBS put processing their grief on hold and discovered it's still waiting years later. I similarly want to process some of my past trauma and leave more of it behind.

In Michelle's book she talked about how us husband's often make our wives the purpose of our life, and I was in that group 110%.

I'm angry though. And I'm kind of sick of putting my life on hold.. [I]ts exhausting to live this way. I feel like the giving tree.. [S]he was a stay at home mom for years and I made the mistake of expecting the home to be her job.. I put pressure on her for sex one night and she said no.. Then on Sunday night, she started to light me up..

I agree it's not healthy to live your life for someone else. It's even more problematic when we have covert expectations about what we'll get in return. The act of giving doesn't spark joy, rather resentment.