I also want to reinforce what WF is saying. Stress is awful. Have you tried meditation at all? There are a number of free apps you can try that have very simple, short guided meditations that might help. Even just taking 10 deep breaths with your eyes closed when things start to feel hard could help. This helped me a LOT in my sitch. And it might help with your condition too--
Yes I have. I can't concentrate though and get images of my wife and OM. Guided meditations may be better.
Originally Posted by may22
my H used to get truly debilitating migraines and had to stop using the medication that really worked after his stroke (at age 35). He now immediately meditates for 15-30 minutes as soon as he gets his aura and it has really helped to manage the pain. I can't recall exactly what your condition is, but if you haven't tried meditation I would totally recommend it.
Wow, that's pants! Migraines are awful, however my condition isn't dependent on them and you don't ever need to have had a migraine to have Vestibular Migraine (VM)! Although I do get them sometimes. I also have a plethora of symptoms 24/7, mainly revolving around dizziness and it's fairly bad this morning after a stressful morning as my stbxw has cancelled my car insurance payment out of her bank, without prior notice and a subsequent conversation with my friend on the phone.
This is interesting though as how does meditating help migraine pain? Would you think there is an element of stress involved? I have always thought that my thing is repressed stress or something, however I also have a pituitary tumour, so don't know how that affects anything, if at all. Don't know how long it's been there as it only got picked up on a brain scan when investigating VM
Originally Posted by may22
Another thing I did that helped me was the supplement 5-HTP. It helped me sleep and really did improve my mood. You might look into that.
A while ago I got some L-Tryptophan as I heard that it can help with brain injuries. It's in powder for and I was told that if I haven't felt any different within 4 days, then it wouldn't be what I required. I've got an entire pot left so I took some this morning. I'll have a look at the 5-HTP as that's Hydroxy Tryptophan, whereas I only have the L-Tryptophan amino acid - not sure if there's a difference?
Originally Posted by may22
Finally, it occurred to me as I was reading your list of covert narcissistic traits... dang, I'm going to guess that my H would have said check, check, check to most of those during the SSM phase of our M. I don't think I am a covert narcissist, though-- I also was feeling emotionally alone and like I had to do all the housework and physical touch was simply not my primary love language. Anyway, just another voice to suggest you stop trying to figure out what is wrong with your W and put all that enormous energy into healing yourself.
Thank you for your input, it's nice that you have taken the time to share your experience. Yes, I think I am getting the message, firmly now, to just let it go.
M(55), W(45) BD1: Apr-2011, BD2: 23-May-21, NC (15 June '21) Divorce Filed (16 July '21) --- When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you need to trust it's there.
