Well much to my surprise, the medication was approved! Mind you, this is not a cure, but who knows, if CMM responds it might buy him another year. Just living day to day.
kml, congratulations! Yes, CMM is lucky he happened upon you. Medication approved and while waiting for that you found a natural supplement that inhibits the same enzyme--amazing stuff!
My best friend talks about attachment styles (she’s an insecure attachment type, and pegs me as a secure attachment type). There’s an advice column in The Guardian that I read today which does a good job of explaining it I think. Just search Thd Guardian and “My Boyfriend said he wanted to marry me but then walked out”.
Great news about the drug KML!! Our attachment styles tend to come from very early experiences with our parents. If you are a secure attachment style, chances are you were raised by very responsive, stable parents (emphasis on the mother) who would respond to you in a predictable timely manner. I am also a secure attachment person. Sometimes I think if I was a bit more of an insecure attachment person, I might have been more sensitive to my XH’s deceptions. But when I trust someone, I TRUST someone. Still…better to be securely attached than not, I think. Hope CMM gets more time. (((HUGS)))
re: Attachment styles, yes “secure” is best—glad you both have that. I’m definitely anxious/insecure, but have learned to moderate our typical protest behaviors. In the article where she responds to his pulling away (taking a vacation without telling her) by breaking up for a day, that’s a protest behavior.
Sometimes I think if I was a bit more of an insecure attachment person, I might have been more sensitive to my XH’s deceptions
I've often thought that I didn't pick up on the red flags about my ex's narcissism BECAUSE I came from a family without dark triad issues. I just didn't really know to be looking for it.
My XH used to talk a lot about the secure vs. insecure attachment thing and always said I was a secure attacher while he was insecure. I knew all that before he came along about myself, but I could see the differences when I was side by side with him. And, I can definitely see how it ties back in to how we were raised. Interestingly, Sparky and I JUST had a similar discussion yesterday because he has a habit of doing something that I KNOW is a product of something his mother did when he was a child and still does occasionally. While Sparky, by most accounts should be an insecure attacher, he is actually a secure attacher.
It is an interesting subject for sure.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
CMM’s test results today show he doesn’t have measurable antibodies from his vaccine (I say measurable because he likely still has memory cells that can make some antibodies). Cancer patients on chemo are vulnerable to poor vaccine response and this indicates he should probably have a third shot. Wish we had checked this earlier - would have been better to do the third shot before he started radiation and this new chemo.
Also learned today that an old high school friend just had aortic valve replacement surgery. Luckily it sounds like his recovery is going smoothly.
Also learned that a high school classmate died today. Not a good friend but I knew him. Cancer.
Ellie I'm sorry about your classmate. Yes, we all need to live our lives. As I was waiting for the coffee to perc I was reflecting on a family we know, one of their children was a classmate of our son's. About two or three years before my own sitch blew up, the wife blew up their family. The husband had gotten help for a drinking problem and had about 4 years in recovery. He worked hard, built a business, was a devoted family man, and had taken up fitness in a serious way (think marathon runner). According to her he was "boring" now that he didn't drink. She went girls gone wild. I know way too much about some of the really twisted things she got into and the people she got into them with. He was such a great guy and they had a beautiful family. He started drinking again. Don't know if he's stopped. I was thinking that I can see their situation so clearly, can see that the wife was the one with the serious problems (did I mention her screwed up childhood? yup, another one with unresolved childhood trauma blowing up their lives midstream) while the husband had worked hard to address his own issues. His grief response was so extreme, he started drinking again. Don't know what happened after that. The husband wasn't the person having the breakdown, but it certainly dragged him down into a pit of despair that he may or may not have climbed out of.
I was also going through some boxes in my closet and found a bunch of clothes that I haven't worn in a minute. These were wardrobe staples the last couple years of my marriage (jeans). I WAS NOT FAT but I've internalized that so much.
Why do we let the obviously crazy people affect us so deeply that instead of living we merely exist? Life is so very short. Scr3w that. Time to really live, before you're gone. It'll be over before we know it. Minimize those regrets and use the best china more than you have in the past.
My mom had a beautiful diamond band that my dad gave her. It's sat in the box for years and years. I'm wearing it now, because she loved it, but wanted to keep it "for best" so never wore it. I started wearing it to remember them both and how much they loved each other. She has so many things tucked away "for best" ... when the heck is best? Today is best, it may be all we have. We will never be this young again, so think about that for a second. Sorry for the long rant. This batch of coffee was stronger than yesterday's, obviously.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
