Wolfman moving forward

[Dawn70]

I think it is different for different people, coping strategy that is. For example, I agree with CW's very last line about music having power. I listen to music often. Always in my car and most of the time in my office or when I'm just puttering around the house cleaning or whatever. I'll even have on music for background noise when I read. Reading and arts and crafts are also nice outlets for me. Taking a nice walk or going to the lake to swim and hang out on the beach also help. CW's post just made me tired, but I'm an introvert, so that much people time would actually not help me cope at all, but have the opposite effect, so I make sure that I have down time and alone time built into my week on a regular basis so that I don't have to be "on" all the time. My professional life forces me to be "on" 95-99% of the time when I am at work, depending on which particular hat I'm wearing, so having down time after work or on weekends helps.

Specifically to address your point that you think a lot of people would advise you to go on meds. I think you might be surprised at the number who WON'T advise that. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any issues at all with folks seeking counseling and using prescribed meds responsibly to get the help they need. When my XH first walked away I went to counseling and at one point, my counselor and my doctor worked together to prescribe me meds that I took for about 8 months and it helped. But, I knew from the beginning that it was NOT a long-term solution and I didn't want to become dependent on that, so it wasn't something I wanted to do for an extended period. So, I would NOT advise you to go on meds, unless it were a last resort type of thing. Now, others may disagree with me and that is fine, but I think you'll more likely find a lot of folks on here who offer a wide variety of things that worked for them that don't involve being medicated. Pinn and CW both pointed out exercise, which is a researched and known anti-depressant. Outdoor activities can also be relaxing, fun, and full of stress-relieving opportunities. I DO think counseling is good and if you get one who is not working for you the way you think he/she should be, then change. I lucked into a great one on the first try, but not everyone has that luxury. I wouldn't give up on that, though, as the benefits are astronomical. It really helps unpack a LOT.

I'm a big fan of reading because I can lose myself in another world/life for a time. I also like arts and crafts and organizing/re-doing my house because those are all very creative things for me and allow me to make things and change my environment without really spending a ton of money. If I'm REALLY struggling with something, I go to my dad's farm and help him feed or build fence or do whatever of the other millions of farm chores always need doing because physical labor can be very stress-relieving. Gardening, landscaping, bird-watching...so many great outdoor activities. You just have to find what speaks to you and run with it. And it may take you a bit. If you try something and don't like it, try something else. The possibilities are endless.