I want to start by saying thank you May. Your encouraging words always make me feel stronger and like I can really get through this and be okay, with or without my H. I was hoping I did Okay with how I handled that situation and was wanting feedback on it specifically so thank you for that, I really tried hard to validate and not let my own emotions and thoughts of what to say get the better of me.
I have been looking into things, looking into lawyers so I find one that I'll trust, and trying to figure out the housing situation just in case of course has been on my mind. I know my situation with this stuff is much slower then some, but I'm not as financially set as some and I am very very busy so it takes me time to work on some of this stuff.
And I aporeciate you telling me your story. I really want it to be heard that its not that I dont believe my H would have an A right now. I am sure in his confused state he would, hes even discussed with ne his confusion in this, about a week or 2 ago he told me in a very vulnerable state, him not me, "some days its like I just feel its really important for me to see other people and then other days I think, why would I ever want to be with anyone else, I love my wife" again I'll remind that my H had never even had a GF before he met me when he was 21 and I was 24 at the time. My point being is in not thinking "oh my H wouldnt have an A, with the alien in his body right now I am sure he would, and I am preparing mentally every day for the possibility of it happening" so beleieve me when I say, its not me being hopeful or thinking he won't. He would right now, obviously I cant say 100%, I'm too logical for that, but I do believe wholeheartedly hes not having one YET... NOot because I believe anything he says, at all! But because I honestly get his work schedule, he gives them to me, and he is Always working, I have a few good friends in the department, one that is his partner and she would tell me in a second if he was talking to others etc. He works so much and he comes home I know because my son and I are home, doing our own things mind you, but home. The few days my H has had off hes went on a float trip and to a bbq, again with friends I trust to tell me completely, my friends. Anyways my point is that I know he could be having one at any moment, and I am trying my best to prepare for this possibility every day. So don't think that I believe him. Because I don't trust what he says.
I use to do yoga so I may just pick that up again. I have been working out more and the soending time with just me and my son. Thank you
