So why bother with dating then, if they all have the capacity to do this? Why wouldn't the next partner do exactly the same thing?
smilie, why bother dating, if all men and women have the capacity to leave?
I find dating rewarding because I enjoy learning new things, companionship, romance, sex, and people I can count on (whether or not the relationship works out romantically).
I've never really been one to go dating, always been fairly reserved. I tend to prefer meeting people in general surroundings, but these days it's all about dating apps. I don't have an expensive phone, mine is years old and I de-googled it so it's pretty basic. It's my wife's old phone that I had when I brought her a new one for her birthday one year ago next month.
Originally Posted by CWarrior
In the last month, I met Ms Paddleboarder, who's up for lending me her board so we can go standup paddleboarding any day we're both free. I met Ms TallChemist, who hikes with me and we chat most nights. If someone has a positive impact on my life, I'm glad I met them, whether they're there 3 months or 10 years, a friend or lover. Love comes with the potential for heartbreak. Heartbreak is a sign that I can still love. I'd rather feel it than be jaded.
That sounds nice. I haven't dated for a lifetime it seems, 21 years? Blimey, that's long. The problem I have is that if women are looking for men who work, then I've lost before I've even begun.
Originally Posted by CWarrior
If you had 10 good years, hold onto that and resist the urge to rewrite them as miserable. If you had 10 miserable years, learn from that--why didn't you fix it or go? Don't repeat that mistake in the future. I hear that war inside of you. You blame being sick on living a lie (of your choosing) for 10yrs.
Well I had 19 good years, with the relationship, minus the issues 10 years back for a year or so to get back on track, I just don't know how many year of that were fake - probably the last 10. It's been overcast by this wretched illness for the past 7 years.
Originally Posted by CWarrior
I tend to choose partners who fought hard to keep their relationships, whether they ultimately stayed or left, because I want an "enduring love" (nod to wayfarer). Over the years, I've learned how to fight harder than I thought I could, and when to let go. I've never been cheated on afaik. Many won't cheat on you.
Being cheated on is horrible, it is like mental torture, especially if you suspect but don't really know. I was cheated on by my first serious girlfried in my 20's. We lived together and she used to go out with friends ... and come home really late. There was me waiting, wondering, worrying. Then one day she didn't come home from work and that was that! Just a repeat of this really.
My second serious girlfriend cleared my house out and I came home to a bed and my tropical fishtank and the 3rd one turned into a violent drunk when she lost her job, then transformed into an absolute psycho. Arguments, plates crashing around, passing out and vomiting everywhere - nice - and well, you know all about the 4th one, the one I waited 8 years to make sure we were good together before we got married, then she cheats inside of a year and then again now. That's my love luck.
Originally Posted by CWarrior
If you're here in 1-2 years, you'll probably find me in a new LTR, hopefully my last. (:
I think I'll stick around for a while. Reckon you'll have better luck than me and I wish you well in your search. I remember finding it hard to get a date as I hadn't got a lot of confidence.
M(55), W(45) BD1: Apr-2011, BD2: 23-May-21, NC (15 June '21) Divorce Filed (16 July '21) --- When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you need to trust it's there.
