Picking Up the Pieces After WAW Goes Again #2

[MrBrside]

This is what I do, I'm a logic guy. I was a software develop for many years, then an System Administrator & IT Manager for a legal firm. I find solutions....well, used to. So I'm always trying to find the logic and I know from what I've read here that there is no logic and it's emotions, so all I am trying to do is understand .... still.

You will find that a lot of men are logical. Especially on this forum, the majority ( not all ) have a very rational minset. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of men who arent - I joined a few facebook groups for men who had been cheated on, and the amount of men that have melt downs / turn to drink / get angry is astonising. Generally, the posters on here seem to look for answers and end up here.

I get where you are coming from. I'm an IT Director and also spend my days fixing things - When i'm not at my desk or with my kids, i'm under a car - fixing things. Thats what we do - We apply logic to these situations, that are fuelled by WW emotion.. Hence logic wont work - EVER.

In her current mindset, your WW believes everything she is saying - YOU are at fault and YOU were making her unhappy. Nothing you say or do at this point will change it.

So why bother with dating then, if they all have the capacity to do this? Why wouldn't the next partner do exactly the same thing?

Only you can answer that question - For me, i date because i enjoy sex lol. That said, i very much doubt i'll ever end up in a long term relationship again. I am very very happy with my current life. One thing i do know, is that i will no longer compromise / ignore red flags - this is the downside, as i frequently walk away from dates thinking she was nice, but X, Y, Z red flag wise.

So then I ask politely once again and please give a direct answer - How do I make sense of this, as you guys seem to have it off pat, right?

I cant tell you what to do.. For me it was 3 things.

Control, respect, dignity

IMO the first thing you need to do is realise you have no control over the WW or her actions.
You can only control you. Until you accept this, and keep going over the same old ground, you wont move forward and you will keep over thinking everything.

Then, like i said initially - get a list together and work on you - Where you want to be - what you want to achieve as a single man - Then hit that list .. tick, tick , tick !