Mine married his AP in one of the sneakiest/shadiest ways I have seen. 10 months after we divorced he announced via text that he had married someone and that she was “honorable.” (Ha ha - methinks DEFINITELY not!) Then he told me not to be mad at the kids that they did not tell me as he swore them to secrecy. She had also been living with them for I don’t know how long and they were sworn to secrecy not to tell me. So ridiculously dysfunctional. The whole situation helped me detach as it was all too Jerry Springer-like dysfunctional. Nothing to be jealous of there.
We live less than a mile apart and I would see them in grocery stores walking hand in hand. They seemed to be deep in honeymoon phase.
Recently I learned they divorced 5 months after they married!!! He told my kids to keep that a secret from me, too?!?? I saw them 1 month before their divorce and they seemed happy as clams. All is not as it appears.
Seeing them together helped me detach. At first I was filled with dread of running into them. But seeing the shady way they lived, it helped me heal. I squared my shoulders and in my head said, have at each other!
Recently my older son had a huge blowout with his dad. He told him he has zero respect for him and all he has done. He told him that he is no family man. (I guess he has been calling himself “the family man” to them?!?!) He told him he’s a hypocrite and he has zero respect for him. My son told me he will never respect him.
Detachment happens when it happens whether there is tons of distance or not. Be kind to yourself and you will heal.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
