Steve i find the walking down the right tight rope for me really hard... I know my relationship with H has in the past really benefitted from a tough love approach. Thats what happened when we first BD which was actually initiated by me. He still speaks of how "amazing" i was because I took over all our affairs and just did what I thought was best for me and the children at the time. It seemed that bought him out of his fog real quick and he was more then willing to do reconcile, do IC and MC and anything else I wanted...
This time has been different and I have tried the more softly softly approach as encouraged by my DB coach and my IC which I was seeing earlier, it seems to have worked to a point. We will see how it goes from here.
I have read about self-differentiation in marriage and that was what prompted me to start the reno. Its something I have always wanted to do and really excites me. I have new furniture coming in, new flooring and a whole heap of painting to do. But I cant wait as its going to really look good once completed and then I can entertain as I wish come the summer. Im quite the cook and cant wait to get the BBQ out and chill by the pool with family and friends.
