Jump out of a package marked, "DETACHED AND HEALED." Lol. No, it took a bit of time. And I got tangled in the packaging every now and then while crawling out.
I am happy to hear the cottage project is progressing well. I’m sure you are doing a great job and yes its transformation is astonishing. Cottage and Gerda’s. (((Hug)))
It is pretty amazing to witness replay in such stark clarity like your H (or my XW). It’s difficult to believe that it is actually happening. I had to use the word dumbfounded to describe my incredulous eyes; “I can’t believe it” kept me not believing it.
Originally Posted by Gerda
Sometimes I remember we are to pray for our enemies, and I try to pray for H. I get confused because the truth is that if I am honest with myself, I don't want his salvation, I don't want him to get better or for anyone to forgive anyone. I want him to disappear and not to have to know about it either way. I don't want him to get better or be redeemed because it will somehow undermine what I had to do to myself, to change, so that I could heal and move forward. I had to stop believing in him…
You are doing fine my friend. I do recall this particular bump in the path. Yes, I too felt that her redemption somehow undermines my redemption. Faith my dear friend - it can be both.
It’s hard to let go that ego, revenge, that wanting to show them they’re wrong. Difficult steps along our own path of salvation and healing.
Originally Posted by Gerda
He truly believes he is taking the righteous path, he believes that this will one day be clear to his children that he did the right thing though he has lost both of them and that they will see him as a hero. What chance does such a man have to ever choose goodness?
He has opportunity. He has choice. He is broken. Let go and let God. It’s all one can truly do.
You’ve hit it right smack on target. He believes his righteous path and narrative. Even though reality shows him different. He will ignore and explain away such nuisance feedback and pressures; court ordered child support, children who don’t ever call, bills, can’t hold down a job, etc.; from his crafted fantasy.
You see his confusion. You understand. He is a hurt and lost soul. There is no need to hold him unforgiven. Be strong Gerda, stand for you, trust in God, and forgive the sin.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
