The descent into crisis is mostly hidden from the world. Their time from trigger event(s) to bomb drop is usually somewhere between 18 to 24 months. Running takes as long as it takes. Awakening is also a slow process. Similar to their descent it is mostly hidden from the world. Their internal awakening comes as a whisper of doubt. They feel and question their crafted fantasy reality and narrative. Diving back into the tunnel and then peaking out again as they grow stronger and more healed. This is a very precarious time for them and their psyche. Damaged, guilt-ridden, and starting to realize what they did and what they are accountable for. Growing up is hard.D
In all honesty DnJ, do you think he is still running? Since he is away to another country again all by himself, still drinking a lot (less but still enough), connecting with his father and the children a bit more but not as it should be... I guess he is still running. Or I will formulate it differently, if they are in the stages of depression, withdrawal, acceptance, is running still present as well?
I assume you have read already so many story’s here you will be able “to compare” a bit. You can tell me the honest truth. I can handle it
I’ve also read HaWho’s , 97Hope and Babe’s story’s in big lines the last days and then I’m thinking, wow, it can completely turnaround. The patience you all have and/or had is truly incredible!
Originally Posted by DnJ
You handled this visit well and made good decisions. Leaving the door ajar and giving space and time to H. He is moving, albeit slowly, in a positive direction. Continue moving forward and living your great life. H, when he is able and ready, will run to catch up.D
I have patience and I'm giving space as needed. I live my life to the fullest, so that is all working now but I must admit that I still think of him a lot and worry quite often. I assume this is called love… But to reach the point where you pass by their house and forget to have a peek, as you experienced last week, wow,…this would definitely not work for me yet…I guess this is called “full” detachment. And yet, you still love your EXW, you still stand in a fantastic way.
I forgot to ask something. Can't seem to figure out why this is. On Saturday, when he was here, my FIL and BIL came over for dinner. It was then he started talking about his Mother in a really bad way. But the next day he talks about his M like nothing happened and she even brought him to the airport a few days later and they went to have dinner first, just the two of them. So he is not mentioning anything to her. Why is that?
I would assume that when you realize the pain you are feeling all these years already is caused by that one person who should always have to be there for you, you would at least talk to them about it or ban them from your life, no?
