WTF did I ever do to her? Why does she just want to absolutely ruin anything positive that I saw in her? Why is she trying to make me hate her, change my feelings and scrub over all of those years we've had together? Not only has the "Abandon Relationship" relationship switch been flipped, but also the secondary switch marked "Destroy".
Smilie, I doubt she’s thinking along those lines. More likely, “I’m getting divorced. What achieves the best possible settlement for me and mine?” You aren’t partners anymore. She’s doing what’s best for her. You’re doing what’s best for you. I get it doesn’t feel like just business, it feels very personal to compete with her in a process where her gains are your losses.
Originally Posted by smilie
If this is the price for loving somebody unconditionally, then I really don't know what to say.
Yes, loss is the price of love. I’m a romantic and still believe in love and unconditional love for my partner. Divorce and DB’ing don’t require relinquishing those. Maybe, with perspective, years from now you’ll look back and say you had 10 great years with her and 2 miserable years getting over her, and it was worth it on the balance. It may take time to get there.
