My advice on the push and pull you're in right now is sit down and take a serious inventory of how long you and the kids can stay on this rollercoaster your H has you on. SteveLW like to tell people to think seriously about a drop dead date. At date at which you are no longer willing to ride this out and see what happens. Having that date gives you a small amount of control in a rather uncontrollable situation. It also gives you a light at the end of the tunnel. H gets his act together by X date or I will be the one to file. SteveLW's was a year from BD. Mine was a year from when H began his R with OW. Some people put down much shorter timelines because they can't emotionally handle the turmoil longer than that. Some of these crazy amazing MLC LBS hang on for years, but most of them have decades invested into their relationships. If I were married 20+ years maybe I would've picked out a longer drop dead date. Who knows? But it's a personal number and it's yours so you can chose to move that date forward or backward in time as you please. I know that it's helped a lot of people get a handle on how long they'll ride the crazy train for.
Along with that drop dead date, yes detach. Keep detaching it's a process. It's not a one and done kind of thing. And it sounds like you're pretty attached right now so definitely. Keep focusing on GAL and your 180s. Keep focusing on yourself and your kids. Even if you're choosing to "wait around" for H to figure out what it is he's actually doing here that doesn't mean you put everything else on hold. You can wait and see with H while going on with your life acting "as if" you already have a life that doesn't have him in it. Because technically you don't. H puts himself in your life when he feels like it. He's not there when you need or want him to be. He's there when he needs or wants to be. Sometime you just get lucky enough that those things over lap. Don't for get that. You may be sure about him but he's still very unsure about you and your MR. Keep living your life as if he's gone and by the time he makes up his mind you'll know if you really want him back or not.
