A RED FLAG is a behavior you won't accept in a partner. A YELLOW FLAG is something that causes you to be more cautious. When you met your STBXW, she (A) had an exit affair with you, (B) intentionally jumps between relationships without processing baggage, and (C) had baggage to process being fresh out of a relationship. For me personally, (B) would've been a red flag, (A) is a yellow flag. Immediate disqualification for having an exit affair would rule out too many women I'd be happy to be in a relationship with. Your preferences and flag colors may vary. The key is to note and consider past behaviors.
Thanks for the explanation. I can't see how somebody can keep going from relationship to relationship like that with absolutely no time in between - as you say, no time to process baggage.
I am having a really bad day today. Sorry about keep posting here so frequently.
Yesterday was a lot to take and I'm not sure if I feel any different inside - still feel in turmoil. I feel pathetic and I can't see a future although I have a vision in my mind of what it might look like. I have read the detachment thread, but still can't seem to do it. I suppose it can take a while?
The answer to me is to move away so that I'm nowhere near our old life together. I have a mental plan for this and will be calling an estate agent about a house the other side of the country. I don't know how long it will take me to recover from this, but I feel so alone here and isolated there's nothing around here that would change that, and with the stbxw only 15 mins down the road it's a high emotional charge for me, as the town is so small that I could bump into her/them at any moment.
I really feel, at the moment, that this is going to be the death of me. I suppose that will change.
M(55), W(45) BD1: Apr-2011, BD2: 23-May-21, NC (15 June '21) Divorce Filed (16 July '21) --- When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you need to trust it's there.
