Thank you so much for your response. It really does help. I had no idea what I should do with the situation but I'm going to take your advice. I'm not going to do research into the S and I will stay in the bedroom and he can sleep on the couch. I'm working hard on trying to not contact him. I have made big strides with it, though I have faltered a few times, but its getting easier. I do notice him contacting me more when I dont try to contact him.
He has always been the type of person with my son that he didnt want him to call him dad, its just not how he was. But he's always been there for him 100%. Him and my son have talked about it and although he doesn't feel quite like his dad, he is his parent, confusing I know its been years of understanding it, and that he loves him and will always be there for him. They have a Great relationship so I will probably have to work something out so that he can watch him for me to GAL. Exercising helps with my anxiety very much thankfully. I'm considering trying the breaking plates too lol
The biopsy thing is what is so hard for me, I'm keeping it to myself for now, still not sure what I will do if it comes back with bad results though.
