Picking Up the Pieces After WAW Goes Again

[smilie]

I’m a 3x LBS.

I can recall vividly each time she left and then came back to grab her things with her mother. Such a dreadful feeling of finality.

Argh man, I feel for you. You must have had it real tough the last time. Sh!t man, I'm sorry

Now you can truly start to detach now and not have to look at her things in the house. It will sting for a while and then you will start to create a new routine and start to feel settled again.

She still has her other stuff here, but at least all of her clothes are now gone. I also put my wedding ring in her make-up bag, so she'll come across that at some stage when she's sorting through things. It was titanium and had our wedding date engraved in it - didn't want it anymore as our marriage meant nothing to her, seeing as she cheated under a year of being married.

Just the fact that you didn’t fall apart when she was there will leave a lasting impression on her. You’re not easily forgotten, and you displayed strength.

Huh! You can say I will leave a lasting impression on her! I have a very distinct personality, am spontaneous and can talk to anybody about anything. I always made her laugh, I joked around and we had so many little routines that I created - such as watching a certain live stream on a Thursday night and having an ice-cream - every Thursday without fail. I wouldn't let us eat dinner until the candle on the table was lit and every where we went out for dinner I done my best to ensure that there was a lit candle on the table - even if I took my own!!

I can't see though how not falling apart would leave a lasting impression? I would have thought she wouldn't think twice about it.

I truly believe that through adversity, we grow. And growth can be painful. Feel your pain and process it, and then rise from the ashes like a effin’ Phoenix!

Your life isn’t over, it’s just starting. And you will find strength that you never knew you had.

Well, I'm supposed to be a coach (don't feel like one at the moment), and you are spot on. We can only grow by breaking out of our comfort (or familiarity) zone. When we are comfortable we can't grow but when we meet new challenges, especially large ones, that's when we grow as we have to process things differently come up with solutions to issues and think in ways that we haven't thought in before, or for a very long time.

We’re pulling for you, Smilie. One day at a time.

Thank you - all of you here have certainly been part of my backbone. When I joined the forum I was hoping to be able to resolve this issue, but as time has gone on I have come to believe that it's beyond resolution. She has made her choice, she has broken me down twice and I can clearly see that our journey over the past 10 years since the last time, has probably been peppered with her affairs.

She gave the impression 3 years back that she wanted to try for a child - it didn't happen. It hasn't happened since with all the sex that we have had without protection in this time. This means that it likely she was taking birth control without my knowledge, either that or I'm completely seedless! This makes me feel physically sick.

"If you love somebody set them free". I said I would always love her and I meant that. Now that she is still trying to break me financially even though she's gone and I kept to my promise and am giving her a divorce, I'm not so sure that I can always love her, as she has made herself ugly in my eyes, in her deeds and actions over the last year by conning me out of all of my savings.